Twenty years ago when a couple divorced, they never saw each other again and then society was filled with children of divorce … children that grew up with a lot of mental issues from those failed relationships.

Today, divorce isn’t like that because parents understand the effects that have been proven to last lifetimes. Now a divorce can be as simple as Daddy moving next door or Mom sleeping on the couch. Parents are spending sometimes more time together divorced than when they were married and some make some big mistakes.



After a divorce a lot of women find themselves facing a completely new dilemma … how do you work with Dad now?

Just like the dilemma Victoria faced, many divorced couples trying to maintain relationships with the children go through the very same scenarios and for parents that couldn’t agree on anything while married … it doesn’t get easier after divorce but there are some things to help lighten the blows.

Rules!

Rules are important because they set boundaries and couples should talk about the interactions with the children. It’s a good idea to make decisions about present, holidays; events and big decisions, and then stick to them.

A good example would be Victoria’s dilemma, her ex-husband should have spoken with her before purchasing a gift of that scale and couples should let their views be known.

If a child can’t have particular items, make sure Dad knows and that he’s willing to abide because in the end if Dad doesn’t, Mom will be the mean one taking away gifts from Daddy.

Establish a New Relationship

Because contact will still be kept in the event of a divorce involving children, it’s up to parents to make a transition into a new kind of relationship between the two and although a couple doesn’t have to be best friends, amicable is good.

Realize that the children are the focus and cater to their needs.

No Bad Mouthing

Don’t bad mouth Dad, especially not in front of the kids. The divorce is over and it’s best to move on peacefully.

No Arguing

Not all divorces end with a couple bickering forever but some do, don’t argue … there’s no point. Two adults should be able to sit down to talk about anything involving their children and the number one topic of an argument is that the non custodial parent usually points a finger the second things go wrong or unplanned … and it’s not fair.

Save the blame game because it’s over, focus on good communication.



Understanding

Understanding is one thing and then understanding that you’re not married is another. Treat Dad with respect, the same respect you would have with a neighbor or a good friend because if your children are young, you’ve still got a long time to look at Dad.

The kids will benefit more if Mom and Dad are able to work together and understanding everyone’s new positions is a profitable ideal.

 

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