Help for Dad: How to Work with Mom!

Put Away the Hatchet!

What’s done is done and the sooner both parties realize this, the better off they’ll be. A divorce is hard enough on children without prolonged bitterness between Mom and Dad. Moving on is essential for Mom and Dad and developing a relationship that works is a must.

Develop a New Relationship

Mom is still Mom and Dad is still Dad … they just live apart.

Children will sometimes try to take advantage of a separation and sometimes try to con Mom or Dad into gifts or into granting permission playing two ends against the middle!

Mom and Dad still need to be a united front and an amicable relationship should be established. Couples should avoid talking about things that do not concern the children, even if it’s just the weather unless that’s a subject that will not an argument. Sticking to conversations about the children if there’s hostility is the best.

Set Some Rules

Because Mom and Dad have new lives, it’s important to set some rules pertaining to the children. Because so many couples have different issues this could be as simple as agreeing not to purchase pets or new clothes before checking with Mom or limiting phone time while the children are at Dad’s if they live with Mom. It varies but rules need to be set.

No Bad Mouthing

This is one of those things that most couples experience, the he said-she said scenario. All it takes is a word from one of the kids to set Mom or Dad off like the 4th of July! Respect each other and don’t talk negatively about each other, at least not in front of the children … avoid it at all costs.

Parents should understand their new roles and they should respect each other, the children will appreciate Mom and Dad for doing so.

Communication

Mom and Dad need to talk, developing a schedule for this type of communication is essential for both parents to stay actively involved. Call Mom every week or two and get Mom’s input about the children rather than simply relying on a child to come to you if something is wrong or bothering them, see if Mom knows.

Two head are always better than one!

Divorce isn’t death and the children aren’t prizes, nor should they be victims. The sooner Dad is able to work with Mom to help raise the children, the better off the children will be.

Set Common Goals

When Mom and Dad unite after divorce devoting themselves to their children’s best, something truly magical happens. A couple that once dreamed of growing old together needs to set goals and change that dream into a realistic alternative. Divorced parents can still raise their children together with a lot of patience, communication and the will to do the best.

A whole new feeling of pride comes from a family of divorce in the end, especially when Mom and Dad are able to devise the right plan.