In fact, a lot of teenage behaviors are strange, but mostly harmless. This is a time to choose your battles, because there will be a lot of them. Decide on the things that matter least, and let them slide. Spend your time and energy on the more important things.

Here's an example. Suppose your teen is into the "goth" scene, dresses in all black, including black lipstick (even for boys) and looks like a character from a Bela Lugosi movie. Sure, it's weird. A little scary, even. But for the most part, teens who are into this are otherwise normal teens, with normal social lives. They do as well in school as anybody else who doesn't look like Dracula, they may go to college, and even become a banker one day and trade the black cape in for some nice pinstripes. As long as they're not out drinking other people's blood, don't sweat it.



It's not unusual for a well-mannered grade schooler to turn into a moody and defiant teenager. While some of this is to be expected, it does pay to keep on top of the situation. There may be extenuating circumstances that are causing the problems. If there is anger present, try to find the source of it. Talk with one or more of your teen's teachers, they may have more insight into the social scene there, and whether or not your teen is fitting in at high school. There may be other students that are making life difficult for them, or they may be having a hard time with schoolwork. Schoolwork in the teen years gets progressively more difficult, and sometimes learning problems that were not evident before will show up now.



Of course, you should monitor for evidence of drug use, which can sometimes cause social problems like this. Sometimes drugs, even marijuana, can cause a teen to lose interest in school and hobbies, and things that interested them before become boring.

 

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